Monday, January 11, 2016

Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the goblin city to take back the child which you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours and my kingdom as great. You have no power over me!

Oh but you do! I admit it. I bawled this morning when I discovered you died. I bawled reciting Sarah's soliloquy into voice-to-text. What a human response! It's not like I had plans to hang out with you in 2016.(That does beg the question though – why didnt I? And who DO I want to hang out with in 2016?) You leave a greiving family and a world of heartbroken fans. But you yourself have escaped the agony of whatever cancer you've been privately fighting. (Note to self – get those genetic tests sooner rather than later!) You tilled fresh creative ground throughout your life up 'til your passing.  If I believe what I say I believe, then you are in heaven, with limitations blasted off of your already astonishing abilities.

I cried because my subconscious thinks that those things you contributed to my life are gone forever. And that's not so. Of all your faces, there are those i most know you best by, love you most by, define my own life by. Jareth the goblin King is the Alpha and the Omega. The vocal tracks for Under Pressure with Freddy Mercury and the deliberately unwitting Christmas duet with Bing Crosby cradle the dizzying, dazzling span of your range between their bookends. A generation of Shirley's alumni will recognize Spider from Mars, my imaginary tricolor pinto horse with one blue eye and one brown eye.

I'm glad I didnt get tickets to the Labyrinth Ball this month in Massachusetts.  I think, maybe the Alamo Drafthouse will show Labyrinth now but instead of being excited to dress up, tears well up afresh even as I google possible showtimes (too soon for that, apparently.) Is it human nature or something else that makes us fixate on loss at the expense of joy?  

There is nothing like death to make us appreciate life. And, if we dance with it just so, to help us amplify life 

God bless and receive you, David Bowie. May He Heal any wounds you had left behind and let our spirits soar with your gifts!

... And should we need you...yes whould we need you for any reason at all....